can't be caught

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-08-05T16:14:00

2008-08-05T20:16:51Z

im gonna sit at the welcome table
gonna sit at the welcome table one of these days

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-07-25T01:02:00

2008-07-25T05:08:45Z

I feel like the girl in Go Ask Alice a lot.
minus her close to perfect homelife.

A lot of pressure to have "good" friends.
Bending over backwards for people who won't do the same for you.
Feeling alone.
Feeling like you really don't have any "real" friends.

I only know one other person who really feels like this. And if she reads this, I hope you know I care about you and your decisions..and I want you to take care of yourself. You are just like me..you just don't know it that much. I don't let anyone really see that side of me I guess.

I just loose a lot of hope that's all. Sometimes this comes from awkward conversations with people who I wish were my "friends."

Shane looks at it differently saying that people want to hang out with me. Exactly. people say they want to hang out with me. I guess I'm supposed to go through and make the plans because that's what I always do. But if I don't call anyone I won't do anything. Eh.

This is all weird and random.

other than a lot of shitty things happening to me in the past 48 hours...I had an okay night.

arms legs

2008-04-07T07:01:54Z

my arms and legs are so sore i can't sleep.

we did look cute last night though

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-03-26T23:22:00

2008-03-27T03:24:50Z

Tomorrow is the Walkout at Rutgers against the war.

I'm the most excited I've ever been for anything.

I'm helping with 4 other people rally everyone on my campus.

I feel like this is going to be the most important thing I have done in my life.

back at school

2008-03-25T15:27:22Z

back and school and i'm lacking motivation. i got up really early today to go to the gym, but shane distracted me and we went to breakfast instead. now i'm tired and i still want to sleep.

only 6 more weeks to go and i will be able to relax.

the walkout is thursday. I'm really excited. I don't think my Dad liked to hear how involved I was in it. He thinks I'm going to get arrested. Oh well. It will be cool to have a megaphone.

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-03-23T02:28:00

2008-03-23T06:29:36Z

tomorrow, er today...is easter. spring break is over. it was amazing...i don't want it to end i'll miss everyone :( :( :(

And this also means massive loads of art history work. damn you 106.

weird

2008-03-21T05:08:17Z

I've been getting these weird stomach pains lately.
Do you think it's the ulcer back from the grave?

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-03-20T01:33:00

2008-03-20T05:35:42Z

I love this so much. We are tricky.

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-03-19T02:19:00

2008-03-19T06:19:54Z

Crystal Lake Diner brawl last night.
Tine/Brittany/CSI extravaganza
Bears in sand
I'm quite happy.
I haven't had a conversation with Shane that has lasted over 2 minutes since Sunday when I saw him.
It's weird.
I miss him, but not too bad. Maybe I'm learning to be independent.
That would be a glorious thing.
Tomorrow=Road Trip.

Cow Tipping

2008-03-18T01:43:21Z

I don't know.
Last year the idea was humorous. When I wasn't serious about it. Because I would never do that.
But the fact that someone I know is doing that makes me feel sick.

It's really messed up.

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-03-17T02:19:00

2008-03-17T06:25:05Z

I don't know if I'll start using this all the time again but I'm bored and this is here.
So yeah.

So I've lost about 10 pounds total from gym and dieting this semester. I feel really healthy and feel like I have a ton of energy. I feel like I'm getting my metabolism working good again. But I'm confused because I saw this chart:
------
Figure 2. Ideal Weight for Women Based on Body-Fat Percent

Height
(ft/inches) Ideal Weight
(Pounds)
5' 0" 100
5' 1" 105
5' 2" 110
5' 3" 115
5' 4" 120
5' 5" 125
5' 6" 130
5' 7" 135
5' 8" 140
5' 9" 145
5' 10" 150
5' 11" 155
6' 0" 160
-----

I'm 5'11''. I weight 144 right now. Well, as of Friday. :P
But I'm worried because does this mean I'm not at a healthy weight for my bmi? Or does it mean I'm less than the average? I don't think by anymeans I am underweight. If I lose 10 more pounds, then that is a different story, but I think I'm really just building muscle now. I'll have to talk to my doctor.

I need to keep up working out this week when I'm not at school. At school, the gym is so accessable. Here, I can easily lose motivation. And with my hyper active thyroid thingamajig going on, I know how fast I can gain weight back. I hate how fast I can put on weight. So maybe writing that I'll go running in here will make me. :P

Sorry if this got obsessive. I was just pondering this.

gizmokitty89 @ 2008-03-17T01:42:00

2008-03-17T05:44:36Z

It's odd to me this has existed since 2003. I've changed so much since then.

This spring break is going suprisingly well. Shane isn't here though, that's the only downside. But I visited him today. It was quite a drive. Went to the movies...saw Doomsday. It was really bad. But kind of funny? haha I guess?

Listened to old cassettes and drove around like crazy people.

diner with Tine Dunc and Mike. Ray offerred me a job. Maybe.

I should not neglect this so much.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-12-22T23:23:00

2007-12-23T04:27:49Z

End of the first semester. I guess I should update everything in my life?

I can do that another day. I want to talk about something that is really bothering me.
My 8 year old cousin Paige has Alopecia.
It is where the hair starts to fall out in bald patches, and there is a chance it doesn't grow back.
Due to thyroid problems sometimes...which runs in my family.

It is really really sad, especially to happen during christmas time. She is the sweetest little girl I know, and to think something like this has to happen to her. Ugh. She doesn't even know what is happening, she's too young.
"Mom, when will it grow back?"
:(
People, please pray for her. Yes, there is 50% chance something else will happen cause of the thyroid, but I'm thinking about kids staring and teasing at her. :( I wish there was something I could do. But there isn't even a known cure for this.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-09-19T08:46:00

2007-09-19T13:00:08Z

College. Wow. So much better than I could have ever imagined. I'm really glad I chose Rutgers. I am also really glad I decided against the County College thing. I feel like this is the best decision I have ever made in my life.

So how has it been? Orientation was really fun. Me and 4 other girls on my floor skipped a majority of it. The one night we dressed up fancy and went out to dinner in downtown New Brunswick. I love George Street, it's so fun. Lot's of restaurants, stores, and crazy homeless people. Reminds me a of mini version of chinatown, philly. Taking the bus has been cool. Sometimes a little hectic, so I walk. Taking the bus around 2:00 am on a saturday night is terrible though. It's basically what we call "overly crowded and packed in bus with drunk and crazy people."

Classes are amazing. I'm learning so much more than I ever have already, I love it. I'm taking Intro to Comm which is really easy. I wish I didn't have to take this class to get into the comm school, but I do. I'm also taking a 200 level class called "Mass Communication in Modern Society." It's amazing. I pick up on the material so fast too.
Other classes include, "Women's Leadership and Empowerment" (amazing discussions), Math (I hate it, too easy), and finally, Expository writing. 1 essay a week. ughhhh. whatever.

been going to the gym regularly. Lost 5 pounds so far. I enrolled in a belly dancing class...haha.

I'm envolved in a poetry slamming group. It's insane. I read my first one last night for the group and it was intense. Loved it. The group is called "Verbal Mayhem." Amazing.

Football games are amazing too. I love yelling and screaming at the opposing team and getting put in newspapers everywhere (ex-F U NAVY!) haha, uhh.... Then they do this thing for the amounts of points we score they throw a girl in the air that many times. I got thrown up, it was better than crowd surfing! haha.
during the homecoming came I painted a "R" on my stomach and was part of the "R-U-T-G-E-R-S" with a bunch of shirtless guys. I ended up with a sunburnt "R" on my stomach. haha awesome.

the party scene is amazing too. me and my girls love to dance. so that's what we do best!

The friends I am meeting are all amazing, I'm happy to be here!

Boyfriend is amazing. We like to have sleepovers and order fat sandwiches.

And I'm going to New York Sunday with TINE to see hair. haha I love her.

And I'm participating in the Jena 6 protest tomorrow. if you don't know about it, go find out.

peace, flowers, freedom, happiness,
Brittany

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-08-28T19:44:00

2007-08-28T23:46:35Z

I'm going to college friday. hahaha I'm going to college. that's funny.

Boyfriend and me and better than ever. It's crazy you can fall deeper in love with someone after 3 and a half years. I want to feel this way always. Hurrah!

I bought pirates of the carribean magnets for my dorm fridge.
and I also bought these cool storage boxes.

Today I realize I'm actually going somewhere and doing something.
that's crazy.

I hope that one day you will see me on the news telling you good news.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-08-11T18:07:00

2007-08-11T22:10:59Z

19 more days of cwood

"If that's moving up then I'm moving out"

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-07-12T17:34:00

2007-07-12T21:45:57Z

i am slowly coming to my senses and realizing who actually matters to me in this life.
there were a few people...okay maybe just one...that i really valued their friendship/relationship with me. but each and every single time we spoke/hung out, it always seemed as if i cared more about being friends, and this individual really only cared about, well, my outward apperance? but I truely cared about this individual and had for about 3 years. I cared when this person was upset about something, or in one of his/her moods. I let it really get to me. this person really fucked with my feelings. and most of the time probably didn't even realize it, but when he/she did, they used it towards their advantage. And that's really wrong. I should have realized then that this person wasn't sincerely my friend. I feel really shitty that i wasted so long of my life on this person, and that i get into bad moods when this person is mentioned.

An incident last week really and truely made me realize what a worthless piece of shit this person is. I wish this person the best of luck with the rest of their life, and they should hope and pray that someone doesn't do the same thing to them, because I'm hoping (along with many other individuals) that you get a taste of your own medicine.

All I will do in front of you now is smile and wave. No deep conversation. It's fucking done.

I'm tired of feeling like shit at your expense.

ahhh I feel better now. In other news, LTJ/streetlight/rbj/AAA is tomorrow. I'm really excited.
last night was the club. insane. mgreggs is my favorite dancer ever.
today I had a really relaxed day to myself, pampered myself with a mani/pedi and then ate at this expensive chinese restaurant by myself :P

man I feel like I'm on the top of the world, this summer is amazing! :)

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-07-01T13:04:00

2007-07-01T17:05:09Z

You know you're having a good time when you are the only one dancing to abba at a graduation party and noone is laughing.

i like being me.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-06-27T16:43:00

2007-06-27T20:44:02Z

I graduated.
hahaha
orientation tomorrow at rutgers

souped up souped up souped up souped up souped up vinyl spinning round and round

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-06-07T17:50:00

2007-06-07T21:56:42Z

once i graduate..i have two months left in this sad excuse for a town.
and then I go to a real city
and I'm about 15 minutes from the best city in the world
and the boy I care about most is going to be at my side through it.
and my best girlie is 20 minutes away.
and I'm away from all the assholes that never mattered to me.
the ones that said they gave a shit, but didn't.
the ones that made my life a living fucking hell. the ones that did that while I was living a seperate one at home.
i can't wait to say good riddance to at least.....hmm 4958390458390 people.
one week from today I'll never have to see anyone I don't want to see EVER AGAIN. That feels really fucking great.

tonight is the "last" dance. My dad wanted to go. I'm going only for him. not for any of the assholes in my class.
I'm really happy he's here to take me.
I was thinking about 4 years ago when we all thought he was a goner. and he was. literally.
and today. he's here. breathing. laughing, yelling, whatever.
I honestly don't even give a shit when he yells anymore. I laugh and tell him I love him. I'm glad he's alive to yell at me.
that sounds weird. you probably don't understand.
i don't even know why I'm writing this. or writing this here. I guess I was bored.

fuck collingswood. I'm not raising my kids here.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-05-12T20:43:00

2007-05-13T00:46:15Z

:)
I'm completely happy!

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-04-15T01:21:00

2007-04-15T05:23:12Z

everything is the same lately.

i'm not even surprised.

someone save me.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-04-10T12:23:00

2007-04-10T16:25:01Z

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-03-28T21:11:00

2007-03-29T01:16:35Z

I need to get out of my houseeeeeeeeeeee

collegggggggggggggggggge

senior trip is going to be exactly what i need. a vacation. thank goodness.
i've been getting so irritated lately with everything at home.
my dad has the heat on 24/7 and it adds to my stress. i'm always sweating. it was 60 something today, turn the heat off!

besides homelife, other thigns have been really great. fun times with the play, the germans, the boy, and my crew.

78 days.

gizmokitty89 @ 2007-02-28T16:30:00

2007-02-28T21:33:28Z

today, someone called me skinny.

it was life changing.

it might sound ridiculous, but it was.